The Genderbending of Haruhi Suzumiya
by Richy-Sama
Summary: ONGOING: "Kyonko, Itsuko, Mitsuru, and Yuuki, huh?" Haruhi pondered this a moment, "I'll have to call myself Haruki then!" - Haruhi and the SOS Brigade are genderbent because of Ryoko Asakura! But is it really Ryoko's work, or is it someone greater...? / Kyon's PoV
1. Chapter 1: Aching Muscles and Headaches

**The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya Series © Nagaru Tanigawa & Noizi Ito  
Original Story © Richy-Sama**

* * *

**The Genderbending of Haruhi Suzumiya**

**TMoHS Fic**

**Chapter 1:**

Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep!

_That damn alarm clock…_

I reached towards where my alarm clock always sat and slowly opened my eyes to look at it. I quickly closed them; my eyes were too watery to see and they stung. I decided to just swipe at it in hopes of hitting it.

A few minutes passed and I was still trying to shut it off. I kept reaching towards it, desperately swatting at it now, but no matter how many times I tried to hit it I still couldn't reach it. I blame Haruhi; she was the one who made the whole SOS Brigade run after a stray dog because it looked suspicious. My leg muscles are cramped and hurt like a bitch. _I'll __**kill**__ her._

I let my arm fall back to my side in failure. Moving my hands to my pillow, I pushed it over my face in an attempt to muffle the sound. It worked alright… For a while… That was when my cell phone started ringing, and I knew just who it was, too. A hunch? _HARDLY!_

I slowly stood up from the bed and rubbed my eyes. I opened my eyes and walked, my legs a little shaky for some reason or another, over to the alarm clock. After I had hit the snooze button, I put my hands to my temples, rubbing them. The combination of the alarm clock and my cell phone's ringtone must've given me a headache.. It wasn't horrible, but it was annoying. I let my patience, hardened by being in the SOS Brigade, take care of the urge to run for pills.

My attention lingered back to the cell phone. I had to answer it before my ears started to bleed...

However, if Haruhi was the caller, I'm positive my headache would only get worse. I went towards my desk, picked up my cell phone, and checked the number. Lo and behold, the caller was Haruhi! I didn't even have to answer it. Her constant calling has forced the number into my long-term memory.

I picked up the cell phone and was about to say "hello", but I didn't get the chance. I quickly brought the cell phone away from my ear as Haruhi barked at me about being late, death penalty, and whatever other nonsense I usually didn't listen to. When I heard her voice quiet down, I brought the phone back to my ear.

"Kyon, if you don't hurry up and get your ass down here, I'll make you buy drinks for the brigade for the entire school year! Do you understand me?!" I heard her exclaim before hearing dial tones. I let out a sigh as I put the phone down. It wouldn't really matter if I tried to rush. Haruhi would go ahead and give me that penalty anyway, and if I tried to explain why I was late she would ignore me.

What a reasonable woman, huh?

* * *

**Author's Note:**

This is my first Haruhi Suzumiya fanfiction, so please excuse anything that's wrong with it AND the shortness. :)

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it. I'll be putting up another chapter soon.

Thanks for Reading!

~Richy


	2. Chapter 2: Kyon is Sick

**The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya Series © Nagaru Tanigawa & Noizi Ito  
Original Story © Richy-Sama**

* * *

**The Genderbending of Haruhi Suzumiya**

**TMoHS Fic**

**Chapter 2:**

By the time I had gotten out of the house, my head was pounding. I did take medicine, but it didn't help me.

I went over to my bike and started riding.

I rode my bike gingerly down the streets. Yeah, going slow would fuel Haruhi's anger, but my body wasn't up to riding any faster. My legs hurt from Haruhi's "Suspicious Pet Chase", and my arms had already begun to cramp from riding this bike.

I could tell I was ill. I know I probably should've told Haruhi about it, tell her I was too sick to come, but knowing her she wouldn't believe me. Almost anything I said wasn't good enough for her high standards.

As I turned a corner, I saw the brigade standing at the usual place. Haruhi had one of her thumbs pointed downward. To be quite honest, I didn't care. I didn't care enough to be irritated. My whole body felt shaky, and I had already begun to sweat.

I parked my bike nearby and slowly trudged over to them, barely lifting my feet from the ground as I moved. I didn't feel good at all, but Haruhi of course was oblivious. Her expression was outlined with disappointment and anger.

"What did I tell you, Kyon? You idiot! What the hell took you so long?!" Haruhi yelled, putting her hands on her hips and tapping a foot as if she was _STILL_waiting. I forced a small smile and shrugged my shoulders.

"I don't know," I told her, stifling a yawn, "I guess I-" It wasn't like I was expecting her to listen... or at let me finish, for that matter.

"There is no excuse for being so late! I'm your brigade leader! Shouldn't you give me more respect than this?!" She folded her arms and pouted. "You're so disgraceful."

I heard a little whimpering sound from Miss Asahina (_Which made my headache feel ten times better, I must add!_) before she began to speak.

"K-Kyon," she muttered in a, to my surprise, worried tone, "you don't l-look very healthy…" Miss Asahina would've continued with an apology to tell me that she didn't mean any offense, but Itsuki spoke up. His worried tone of voice didn't surprise me as much as Miss Asahina's, but the look on his face certainly made me rather uncomfortable.

"I'll have to agree with Miss Asahina," Itsuki replied, his eyes quickly skimming over my face. "You look pale, Kyon." I was pale? I would need a mirror to double-check, but I don't remember looking pale this morning. Before I could reply, the monotone voice of Yuki caught my attention.

"I agree," was all she said. Haruhi let out a low groan, closing her eyes to think. We all stood there as she thought, me feeling dizzier by every passing second. Miss Asahina looked like she was about to start crying.

"So Kyon's sick, huh?" Haruhi mumbled. _Yes, Haruhi, I'm sick, _I thought, putting a hand to my head. That headache was starting to pain again. She let out a long, exaggerated sigh before continuing, "I guess he can't investigate with us today..." That almost made me laugh, but the look on her face meant she was serious. She pointed at me and started shouting again, making my headache act up again. "Go home and get some rest! When you get better, you have to do a whole search _WITH ME!_ That way I can make sure you aren't horsing around. Understand?!"

I felt _REALLY_ dizzy now, and my headache was horrible. I hardly heard what she said.

"Kyon?" Haruhi called, her voice loud. "Kyon, are you listening to me?!"

I didn't react. By now, my eyes had started going in and out of focus, and I felt myself fall... "Oh no, Kyon!" was the last thing I heard Haruhi say before everything faded and I went unconscious.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

I decided to upload this one soon to add a little cliffhanger for you guys until I can write more.

Don't you just love that?

Thanks for Reading!

~Richy


	3. Chapter 3: Ryoko's Return

**The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya Series © Nagaru Tanigawa & Noizi Ito  
Original Story © Richy-Sama**

* * *

**The Genderbending of Haruhi Suzumiya**

**TMoHS Fic**

**Chapter 3:**

_It was dark._

I heard voices, little murmurs –_ everywhere_. The owners of the voices, shadowy _things_, were by my feet, next to my face, against my neck, and everywhere else. They touched me, wrapping themselves in my hair and nuzzling against my legs.

I heard footsteps, too. They were coming towards me. The footsteps scared those shadows and made them run off. I heard their voices, twisted and warped, as they ran off. Their whispers grew louder, only beginning to shout before they had all disappeared. As I turned to look at them, I could only see one of them; I'll never forget those red eyes. They were the color of fresh, crimson blood.

I looked back to where the sound of footsteps had been coming from before, but I didn't hear the footsteps anymore. I could only feel someone's arms around my stomach, their face by my neck.

"Hi, Kyon… Remember me?" I felt warmth from someone's breath against my neck and instantly remembered... I _knew_ that voice. She was the one who almost succeeded in _killing me_.

"Ryoko!" I exclaimed, "Ryoko Asakura! But… Weren't you-?!" She cut me off, letting go of me and walking over to stand in front of me.

"Deleted? Yes, I _was_, but only from the physical world." Even in the darkness, I could see her grinning at me. "Before I was defeated and destroyed by Yuki, another entity transferred my program to their base." Ryoko stepped towards me, face-to-face. She brought her hand toward me and grabbed my shirt collar, hiking me up so that I looked at her in the eyes. Her eyes were the same color as those of the shadows, red. "They saw things _my_ way, but they had minimal ways to interact with humans." She was silent for a moment.

Perhaps she was waiting for a reply, a remark, even a plea for mercy, but I didn't provide any of those. I was too confused to talk, so all I could do was shiver at her menacing facial expression. At that, Ryoko started laughing that pretty laugh of hers that anyone at my school would have died for.

Ha… Did I say _die _for?

"What's the matter, Kyon?" she questioned, wiping her eyes with her free hand, "still confused?" I shook my head, but she giggled. "Oh, don't be stubborn." I wasn't being stubborn! I was just confused!

"Let me get this straight," I stumbled to say. "You were deleted, but then you were recovered by someone else?"

She nodded her head, "That's correct." That was when everything around us started to slowly turn brighter. She looked around before sighing. "Well, it seems I'm out of time…" She smiled at me, "I'll see you soon, Kyon!"

Everything grew brighter and brighter until I couldn't see Ryoko anymore…

* * *

**Author's Note:**

A new chapter for everyone! I thought Ryoko would make a good addition to the story, so she'll play a main part. ;)

Thanks for Reading!

~Richy


	4. Chapter 4: Mood Swings and Suspicions

**The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya Series © Nagaru Tanigawa & Noizi Ito  
Original Story © Richy-Sama**

* * *

**The Genderbending of Haruhi Suzumiya**

**TMoHS Fic**

**Chapter 4:**

I woke up in a cold sweat.

Ryoko was not there anymore, and neither were those miniature shadow creatures. I was in my bedroom, lying on my bed. Was Ryoko in my room with me, or was that all just a nightmare? I have a feeling it was more of a warning. Whatever it was, Ryoko was in it, and I know for a fact that I don't have nightmares of _**her**_ very often. Would she come after me? If so, then when? At school? School wasn't for another few days...

I would have to keep my guard up.

"Kyon..." someone called to me. I could only barely pick up the sound of the voice, so I couldn't tell who it was. I just knew that someone else was in the room. I looked towards where the voice was, focusing, concentrating... I saw silver-gray hair atop a blurry figure of a human. Was it Ryoko again? No... Her hair was darker… It had to be…

"Yuki...?" I murmured, shifting to sit up.

"Yes."

"How long have you been sitting there?" Yuki was reading a book of mine when I had spoken to her. She closed it and laid it on her lap. She stared at me, expression absolutely emotionless and blank.

"Approximately three point four hours," she said. Her eyes were focused on mine, as if she was staring me down. "Is something wrong?" I swallowed hard. She must have noticed an odd look on my face or something different with my eyes.

_Should I tell her about that nightmare?_

_**Of course!**_

She destroyed Ryoko last time, so she could destroy her again... Right? Not only that, but she could confirm if what I saw was an actual transmission from Ryoko or just a nightmare.

"It's about Ryoko," I admitted, dabbing the sweat from my face with a corner of the bed covers. Yuki's mouth turned into a frown, and her eyes... was that anger I saw? "I had a nightmare with her in it." Yuki stood and stepped towards me - more like stomped.

"Continue," Yuki instructed, her monotone voice hinting more and more at aggression. I nodded before I told her about the nightmare.

_ I told her about the shadows, Ryoko, everything turning so bright..._

Yuki hesitated, putting the book in her hands aside. Her eyes never left mine, but she appeared to be shaking.

_But why was she shaking?_

There must be something wrong with Nagato... Unless she was upset about Ryoko.

_Upset?_

Maybe **angry** would be a better word.

"Ryoko... She was... Recovered?" Yuki questioned but did not let me confirm it. She didn't need me to. She had no doubt. "Kyon... Ryoko will attempt to kill you, but I will protect you." Yuki's eyes didn't waver from mine, not in the slightest, but her eyes grew watery. It was like... No, she was... She was crying. "I will not let her kill you... I... will not..."

"Yuki... You're crying," I told her quietly. I would've stood to comfort her, but she motioned for me to remain in bed, putting her other hand to her tearing eyes.

"It is because of Miss Suzumiya," Yuki explained, her monotone voice cracking halfway through. "Earlier... Miss Suzumiya... She..." She shook her head, "This is... an error..." She stuttered, trying to withhold her emotion, but tears were already rolling from her face. I have never seen Yuki's face more frightened. She put her hands over her face and ran towards the door, stumbling with the doorknob. I tried to get to my feet, but my legs did not obey.

"Nagato!" I shouted as she darted out of the door. I froze, hand outstretched towards the door. "Nagato..."

She said that Haruhi was the cause of it, that she made her react so emotionally, but...

Why?

One moment, she had been angry. The next, she was in tears!

Maybe it was Haruhi...

How the hell would I know?

* * *

A while had passed after Yuki left the room... I couldn't do much else but try and sleep again. My legs didn't listen to me. If I were them, I probably would do the same. They ached with unspeakable pain, the pain you would only find with broken bones or torn muscles. Perhaps I tore a muscle... Hell, with Haruhi around, I wouldn't doubt it.

I soon found that no matter how much I tried I just could not sleep... not after seeing Nagato like that. I had to wonder what she was doing. Was she sobbing in the washroom, or did she run home? Knowing how girls usually act, that's what most would think, but Yuki wasn't just a "girl".

She was an alien.

I assumed she was trying to predict when Ryoko would strike or how she returned.

With those thoughts running amok in my mind, I slowly drifted to sleep.

* * *

Hours later, I woke up at the sound of a shout.

"Kyon-!"

Within seconds, Miss Asahina was right next to me, the back of her hand against my forehead. She removed her hand and smiled at me, tears bubbling in her eyes. Anything that was in my mind was pushed away as the sad (_Yet, absolutely adorable!_) sight of Miss Asahina crying came to my eyes.

"K-Kyonnnnn! Are you okay? D-Do you need anything?" She was stuttering... I shook my head.

"No, I'm fine," I smiled, shifting my head a little to look towards the doorway. The only person I saw there was Haruhi. She had this foul look on her face. I directed my eyes back towards Miss Asahina, as to not get yelled at by Haruhi for staring. "I hope I didn't worry you, Miss Asahina. I would hate to see you sad."

"Ahh-! N-No, of course not! It's alright!" She blurted, shaking her hands in front of her repeatedly. "But... I _was_ worried about you, Kyon," she admitted slowly, blushing. Haruhi made a small groan and pulled Miss Asahina away from me by her hair.

"Alright! Alright! That's enough!" Haruhi shouted, pouting miserably. Miss Asahina squealed in pain just before I butted in. With my determination at max, I stood although my legs still were in pain, and grabbed Haruhi's wrist.

"Haruhi! Look at what you're doing! You're hurting Miss Asahina!" I exclaimed, beginning to pry Mikuru's hair away from Haruhi's fingers. Haruhi hesitated, but eventually she let go by herself.

"Kyon..." She muttered, looking away from me, towards Mikuru. Her eyes went to me before she yelled at me, "You big idiot! She's _my_ toy!"

"Haruhi, that's unreasonable!" I shouted back, but Mikuru tapped my arm before I could say anymore. She must have something to say.

"It...It's alright," Miss Asahina mumbled, her fingers nervously grabbing at the skirt she was wearing. "It only hurts for a second."

"But- Miss Asahina!" I was too hasty with my reply, and Haruhi let out another loud groan. Afterward, she slapped my arm. _**Hard.**_

"Stop being such a spoiled sport, Kyon!" Haruhi grinned. Her mood must've taken one of those 360 degree turns again... "Besides, I just spotted something _VERY _suspicious!" Oh, great... Something _ELSE_ that was suspicious. Will _IT_ make my legs ache, too? "And it involves Ryoko!" It seemed everything was revolving around Ryoko today. "We'll gather the brigade in your room, so we can all discuss it." She started her thinking again, tapping a foot as she did, "I wonder if Kyon's sister should join us..." She paced about my room before deciding. "Absolutely not!" she shook her head. Haruhi then dashed out of the room, pulling Mikuru with her.

**To be quite honest, I would rather be searching for **_**suspicious**_** things right now...**

* * *

**Author's Note:**

I must apologize.

This story is a little jumpy, to be quite honest, so please bear with me.

Thanks for Reading!

~Richy


	5. Chapter 5: Ryoko is Returning to Japan!

**The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya Series © Nagaru Tanigawa & Noizi Ito  
Original Story © Richy-Sama**

* * *

**The Genderbending of Haruhi Suzumiya**

**TMoHS Fic**

**Chapter 5:**

Not even five minutes later, Haruhi had brought back Itsuki, Mitsuru, and Yuki to my room. Yuki seemed fine now… but I wasn't sure.

Haruhi had a huge grin as she walked in circles in the center of the room. She then stopped, facing towards me.

"Alright, Brigade!" Haruhi announced, placing a hand on her hip, "I have found something new for us to investigate!" Haruhi was quiet for a moment, giggling to herself and not explaining. That pissed me off a little.

"Okay, so you have something 'suspicious', huh? What is it?" I asked. Haruhi looked at me and smiled another wide smile.

"Let me finish, Kyon." Haruhi leaned towards me and shouted in an ecstatic voice. "Ryoko is moving back to Japan!"

I almost jumped, "Wha-What?!"

"I know! Suspicious, huh?" Haruhi pointed her finger at me, "You and I are going to investigate!" I know that she _thinks_ she can make me, but there is _no way_ I am going to investigate Ryoko. That'll put me in even more danger. I don't want to die!

"He cannot." Haruhi's eyes bolted towards Yuki.

"And why not?!" Haruhi replied, turning on her heel to look at her. I looked towards Koizumi and Miss Asahina to see semi-worried glances on each of their faces.

"Haruhi…" I started, but Yuki was quick with her words.

"Kyon is sick."

There was a brief silence…

Haruhi put her hand to her forehead in remembrance, her voice sounding airy, "I guess I forgot." Haruhi sighed and spun back around, pointing at Mikuru this time. "You'll have to do!" Her eyes reverted towards me, "If you do this again, I'll charge you with truancy!" She grabbed Mikuru's hand and left again. I heard Mikuru's whimpers and cries all the way down the hall.

Now, only Koizumi, Nagato, and I were in the room. Itsuki closed the door and came further inside my room, since he had been in the doorway before.

"Ryoko Asakura has returned," Yuki spoke quietly. "I will analyze the situation." Yuki stood, "I will attempt a search to find the agency that revived Ryoko Asakura." She started to the door but then stopped, eyes moving to mine. "You must remain home once school resumes in two days. I will keep Ryoko in my sights throughout the school day while you rest and gather information." She continued walking.

"Yuki," I started while Yuki stopped walking.

"Yes, Kyon?" I hesitated to reply.

"It's nothing," I ended up saying, and she continued out the door. Koizumi gave me a small smile and followed Yuki as I remained there to think.

_**I wasn't about to tell Yuki that I intended on attending school in two days.**_

* * *

**Author's Note:**

I'm going to apologize again, but this time for two things.

It has been a while since I've updated this story, but don't worry! I won't abandon it like my other fanfictions. I really want to finish it.

Also, this chapter is short just like the other ones, but that is just to get this scene finished. They will (hopefully) start getting longer starting with the next chapter.

However, I'm busy with schoolwork and other things, so please forgive me if the next chapter comes in later than you would like.

Thanks for Reading!

~Richy


	6. Filler: Might Abandon This Story

**Hello, everyone...**

****Sorry to say this, but I might abandon this story.

I'm not really into The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya much anymore, and I have other fanfiction ideas for other things in mind.

If anyone wants me to continue this story, please tell me because I might continue it if enough people want it.

No, this isn't an attempt to gain followers or reviews, I just don't know if I should continue this fanfiction.

If you do, tell me. If not, then just keep doing whatever you're doing.

Thank you for reading this little message... I just didn't want people wondering if I was going to update soon when/if I decide to abandon this fanfiction.

~Richy


	7. Filler: This story will be continued!

**Hello, everyone!**

I'm going to say that I will probably continue this story.

Why?

Because I will have a bit more time on my hands since Halloween is over and Christmas break is coming around soon for me.

Also! I don't want to leave you guys hanging, since quite a few of you guys have said to continue.

However, I won't be continuing for a while because I have my mind set on another fanfiction that I am currently working on... so... be patient!

If you have any ideas for stuff to come in this fanfiction though, please send a review or PM.

Sorry for leaving you guys hanging for so long...

~Richy


	8. Filler: I'M BACK!

**Hello, everyone!**

I'm back after such a long time!

I'm so sorry for not updating this story... It's been months!

But I am determined to continue!

I will update soon. :)

~Richy


	9. Chapter 6: Sick Sunday

**The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya Series © Nagaru Tanigawa & Noizi Ito  
Original Story © Richy-Sama**

* * *

**The Genderbending of Haruhi Suzumiya**

**TMoHS Fic**

**Chapter 6:**

Yesterday, Haruhi had ordered everyone to go on an investigation – even after the pet chase we had done the day before, I had somehow managed to get myself sick, Haruhi had announced that Ryoko Asakura was coming back to Japan, and Yuki had ordered me to stay in bed the upcoming Monday.

Now, it was Sunday, and I was starting to think I should take Yuki's advice… I was tired, achy, and the constant buzzing of my cellphone was getting on my nerves. (Haruhi was trying to call me last night, so I set it to vibrate… It was _supposed _to quiet it down, but it turned out to be far more annoying!)

I didn't get any sleep last night either. I didn't want to see Ryoko and those shadowy masses again. I would take Haruhi's cell phone calls all day if it meant I didn't have to see Ryoko!

I rolled over in my bed, placing my hand against my forehead… And there was this fever. The fever made me dizzy enough to stumble and fall, and I didn't want _broken bones _added to the list of reasons to stay home from school tomorrow.

I shifted a little, taking the cell phone out from underneath my pillow, the place I had hid it to keep it out of sight and out of mind…

_Almost…_

The cell phone vibrated even now, rumbling against my shaking hand.

Oh, did I forget to mention I had the chills? Add that to the list, too.

After a moment of thought, I opened the phone and pressed it to my ear. The phone was no sooner pulled away as yelling crackled the phone's speakers to life.

"KYON! WHAT THE HELL?! I'VE BEEN TRYING TO CALL YOU ALL NIGHT!"

"Haru-"

"NO EXCUSES, SICKLING! ONE MORE TIME AND YOU ARE GETTING THE **_DEATH PENALTY _**FOR _SURE_! YOU HEAR ME, KYON?!"

_Yes, Haruhi, I hear you **LOUD** and clear!_

"KYON?! KYON! DON'T IGNORE ME!"

"Yes, Haru-" I heard a click, like a cellphone closing, and then the dial tones. "-hi…"

I suppose I should be grateful. After all, she only yelled at me because I didn't answer the phone… And I didn't have to dash to any far-off destinations in an irrational span of time.

**But I couldn't help but feel like Haruhi didn't care if I was sick at all…**

** With my past experience with her, I _wasn't really surprised…_**

* * *

**Author's Note:**

Sorry for the short chapter, but I wanted to answer the questions that were in the reviews!

Also, sorry if this seems out of character at all... I haven't written as Kyon in a long time!

Sooo... Here's the answers:

**Q:** _Does Ryoko have a crush on Kyon? Is Yuki jealous or have hatred for Ryoko or something?_

**A: **_It's a secret! Keep reading to find out. ;)_

**Q: **_Does every suddenly fall sick, and Ryoko tries to torment them via nightmares?__  
_

**A: **_Not what I had in mind, but I suppose anything is possible in a fanfiction like this. _

**Q: **_Yuki was showing emotion, whoa! Doesn't she do that in the movie?_

**A: **_I believe she does it in the movie... I wouldn't know. I haven't seen the movie!_

**Q: **_Why doesn't Ryoko just go into Haruhi's subconscious, where all her reality warping powers are, and create a massive explosion of data herself, like she's always wanted._

**A: **_Where would the fun be if I told you that? You'll have to see~!_

**And now for the MOST ASKED QUESTION - Q: **_When does the genderbending start?_

**A: **_All in good time~!_

I hope this answered your questions! I hope to update soon!

_**~Richy**_


	10. Chapter 7: Nightmares and Mondays

**The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya Series © Nagaru Tanigawa & Noizi Ito  
Original Story © Richy-Sama**

* * *

**The Genderbending of Haruhi Suzumiya**

**TMoHS Fic**

**Chapter 7:**

It was dark again, cold and pitch-black. I couldn't see anything… I was back at that place… That shadowy dream world…

That meant…

"Hello, Kyon."

…She was here, too.

"Ryoko." I turned around, looking at her through the darkness. All I could see was her smile, lighter parts of her blue-silver hair, and her eyes, dyed red like the creatures that fled with her presence. "What do you want now?"

"Oh, Kyon," she laughed, walking towards me with a menacing smile. Her footsteps made empty taps against the floor, and I heard the shadowy monsters make squealing sounds as they ran off. It reminded me, for some reason, of death. Hell, everything around me at that moment made me think of death. "You are so silly…" Ryoko looked up at me as I looked down at her, laughing into her palm. "Why are you scared of little, old me?" She giggled again, brushing her hair from her face. "I just want to talk."

"…Talk?"

"That's right."

I didn't believe her, and she could tell. Her hair shadowed her eyes as she looked down my body… But then I felt her hands touch my waist, patting it in several different places.

"What the hell are you-?!"

"What am I doing?" Ryoko slowly pulled her hands up my sides and to my face. For a split second, I thought she was planning on kissing me…

But I was wrong…

She took my face and pushed it from side to side, inspecting each side of my face. Then, her hands wandered down…

"Ryoko!" I snapped, slapping her hands away. I saw her look away, almost…

_Embarrassed…?_

No, this is Ryoko we're talking about…!

Why would she be embarrassed about _anything_?!

Besides, everything she _does _is for a **purpose.**

"I'm sorry, Kyon," she apologized, looking back at me with a never fading smile that appeared to grow creepier by the second. "I had to check."

"Ch-Check what?!"

I was seriously starting to get freaked out here!

Can you imagine how Taniguchi would react if he saw this?

Can you imagine if **_ANYONE_** saw this?!

Not including the scenery and other occupants, of course.

"Check if you are _changing _yet!" she replied, grinning almost **_demonically. _**"I have to know, Kyon. Do you feel any different?"

She didn't let me respond.

Her pupils grew smaller as she began glowering, her face gathering a psychotic quality. "Kyon, you're pissing me off," she spoke, her voice a whisper, "Tell me or you'll die!"

Was her new agency always so direct and impatient?!

"I-!"

"Very well," Ryoko grinned, pulling my body closer with my tie to murmur in my ear.

_"You should start __**running, **__Kyon-kun…"_

She pushed me backwards, and I found myself running, dashing for my life… Only I wasn't the one controlling my legs. It must be because of this shadowy world we were in – this **_nightmare… _**I looked over my shoulder, watching Ryoko's arm form the shapes of blades…

_Damn it, damn it, damn it! _

_ Not this again-!_

I brought my eyes back to see where I was going and forcefully bent my disobedient body down into a slide as she sent bullet-like daggers my way, throwing myself into a roll soon after.

"I may not kill you now, Kyon, but I will eventually!" She giggled a little, "Don't worry! I'll let you go through the change before you die."

I had **no idea** what she meant!

I didn't _want _to know!

I kept rolling, dodging those daggers as they dug themselves into the blackened ground.

The daggers abruptly stopped, and Ryoko laughed, "Oh, it seems we're out of time! What a pity…!"

Suddenly, I found myself falling off of an unseen edge into a shadowy pit.

"See you soon, Kyon. I can't **_wait _**to talk with you again!"

I kept spiraling down into darkness, until…

…

_Beep, beep, beep, beep…!_

I looked up at the ceiling from the hard floor, eyes wide, vision blurry, and body shaking.

_Beep, beep, beep, beep…!_

Never in all my life have I ever been more grateful for having such a ridiculously narrow bed and such a ridiculously hard floor…

…

A moment later, I was still lying on the floor, my alarm clock blaring in my ears. It was Monday, I realized just before a groan… School… **_Great… _**

I didn't want to go… Not only because of my nightmare and because Yuki had told me not to, but because of my growing "illness"… It felt more like a _curse_ now. Probably something the so called "god" named Haruhi Suzumiya dreamt up for me...

My head was pounding (probably more from hitting off the floor than being ill) and my forehead felt like it was on fire. I gingerly stood from the floor, dizzily holding onto my desk before shutting off the alarm with an open palm. Air wouldn't dress myself for me, so I hobbled over to my closet to pull on my uniform. I grabbed the uniform and put it on, almost putting it on backwards.

_Was this jacket getting loose?_

Great, I was losing weight because of being ill now. Add **_THAT _**to the never-ending list, too!

I slipped on my pants and a pair of socks before hanging my book bag over my shoulder and heading for the door.

When I got to homeroom, Haruhi was staring out the window. She had that daydreaming vibe of hers… Not to mention the usual body language… Slouching, cheek in palm, hair pulled back in that orange headband of hers… I couldn't see her eyes, but I bet she had that spaced-out look there, too.

"Hey, Haruhi," I said, my regained sense of calm thick throughout my voice and mind. I had taken a pill for my headache and was feeling much better, so I could relax around Haruhi without having to worry about her voice rupturing my eardrums.

"Kyon!" Haruhi exclaimed, sounding genuinely surprised. She looked towards me, eyes wide and mouth open in an almost - *gulp* - _cute _manner.

But this innocent-looking expression only lasted for a moment.

"What?! Wait! You're fine now?! Were you just **_PRETENDING _**to be sick, Kyon?! KYON!" As she shouted, her hand had made its way to my necktie, clutching onto it and yanking it toward her. "You JACKASS, don't do that again!"

Worry?

Concern?

Is that what I heard in her last exclamation?

I wouldn't believe it even if it were to be true.

Sounded more like _bratty __**anger **_to me…

"No, Haruhi, that's not-," I replied as I shook my head.

"Don't 'No, Haruhi' me! I know you're lying!"

It's pointless to explain the rest of the conversation… She just kept rambling on about how I should take my role in the club more seriously before turning to the window and pouting for the rest of homeroom period.

Later on, I found myself seeking solitude in the clubroom. How do I find the clubroom so relaxing… so… _calming…_

I guess it's because people like _Ryoko _and things like _time travelers, aliens, and espers _don't exist there…

_Or so that's what Haruhi thinks… _

_Speaking of Haruhi…_

Just as I sat down, I heard footsteps and the sound of the door slamming shut.

_ Great, I wonder what we're doing today… _

I watched as Haruhi stomped across the room, taking her post at the front desk. My eyes stopped at Yuki. She had her eyes focused on her book, turning a page over slowly before flattening down the page.

_**Speaking **__of today…_

_I was yet to talk with Nagato…_

_I just hope the emotion of __**anger**__ doesn't emerge while I'm doing so…_

* * *

**Author's Note:**

I hope you guys liked this chapter!_  
_

I worked hard on it for you all~! o u o

Please leave some reviews if you like it!

Alsooooo... I was going to ask everyone if they wanted any certain event or activity to happen in the SOS Brigade either before or after they genderbend.

If you have something in mind, tack that onto the end of your review!

**_~Richy_**


	11. Chapter 8: Rumors of Ryoko

**The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya Series © Nagaru Tanigawa & Noizi Ito  
Original Story © Richy-Sama**

* * *

**The Genderbending of Haruhi Suzumiya**

**TMoHS Fic**

**Chapter 8:**

"Alright, my henchmen," Haruhi started with a shout, standing tall with one shoe planted on her desk, "Kyon told a little _fib _about being sick, so we'll do some more detective work **_TODAY!_**"

Maybe I should consider using one of the other Brigade members as a messaging owl. Nagato? Miss Asahina? Hell… I bet even **_Koizumi's_** words would make more of a difference than my own.

"We'll be exploring Ryoko Asakura's whereabouts before she mysteriously moved to Canada!" While Haruhi spoke, she pulled her foot from the desk and began spinning her first finger around in a circle as she walked about the clubroom. "Great detectives **_always _**point their magnifying glass towards the small stuff!"

Haruhi, if there is one thing you need to learn, it's that your name is Haruhi Suzumiya **_not _**Sherlock Holmes!

"Let's head out, gang~!"

…Gang…?

Wait…

What happened to the tedious explanation of **_where_** we are going, **_what_** we are doing, and **_how_** we are doing it?

Haruhi began giggling to herself as she pulled on Miss Asahina's hand.

Damn it…

I hate when she stalls like this...!

The locale we ended up going to was a section near the outskirts of town, where things were "particularly suspicious". That's what Haruhi had said anyway. I found this place spooky… strange… dark_…_

…And highly inappropriate…

This was the part of town with the oddball shops that sold the oddball things… from grimy gizmos to liquors and spirits. This was the… **_adult _**part of town…

The last time I checked, we were **_still in high school_**.

"Haruhi," I started as we walked along the filthy sidewalks, passing a cigar store, "we… **_really _**shouldn't be here."

"Kyon, Kyon, Kyon," Haruhi twisted around and stood still, nearly causing Miss Asahina to trip over her own two feet, "What have I told you? We have to investigate everything! If we don't, we may miss something—and then we would never know!" Haruhi turned and continued to stroll along the sidewalks, appearing to have not a care in the world. The dim streetlights began flickering as the sun began to set, casting orange and pink onto everything the light touched. "It's like reading a book and stopping right at the last chapter!" Haruhi held her chin in thought as we continued walking down the sidewalks, passing store after store, each filled with something different. "Yuki would get what I'm talking about, being a bookworm and all."

I looked up from my feet and towards Haruhi, watching as her eyes darted along one of the shop windows…

Great, Haruhi was looking at pornographic magazines…

She cocked an eyebrow and grimaced before her shoes began to tap against the sidewalk again.

Alright, maybe not…

"C'mon, we're almost there," the brunette leader of ours waved a hand, motioning for us to follow. I looked around at the alcohol and tobacco stores, the dirty magazine shops, the rotten fake teeth in a few of the magic shop windows… Detention couldn't even **_begin _**to describe the consequences of going into one of these stores! "Rumors say Ryoko came down here a few times before she moved to Canada!"

Rumors…?

**_REALLY?!_**

**_Rumors _**are the only reason why we are down here?

**_Rumors _**would be the reason I get _expelled _if we got caught?!

Not that I'm surprised… Of course, anything Haruhi does anymore is hardly a surprise… But still.

I thought Haruhi was a little more reasonable than this…

We turned a corner and kept walking down the dark streets. Mikuru stumbled a few more times before finally calming her nerves (_The poor thing!_), Itsuki looked over the streets with a worried frown on his face, and Yuki—almost robotically—walked calmly with her face emotionless. There was no book in her hands, and I noticed that she kept glancing towards me...

Could she really be… **_angry?_**

"This is it!" Haruhi exclaimed as we stopped at one of the shops. It was the last one before the town's streets turned to dirt and the streetlamps disappeared. That was where the road to the timeworn, hazardous bomb shelter began. The bomb shelter was where the "tough" kids would prove their bravery during their elementary years and where the scrawny kids would go on a dare. Long story short, it was one locale I was more than _delighted _to never go to.

"Miss Asahina stays outside," I told Haruhi, looking away from the dirt road and towards the building Haruhi had decided to investigate, "I'll go in."

"Fine," Haruhi replied almost instantly, "but I'm going in, too!" She looked towards Koizumi, ordering him to stay with Mikuru and, after about a second's thought, Yuki, too. Subsequently, she commanded that I go in first. I swallowed hard and pulled the door handle, hearing the bells above the door chime with a high-pitched tune that gave me **_chills…_**


	12. Chapter 9: Rumors are False, Yuki's Pain

**The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya Series © Nagaru Tanigawa & Noizi Ito  
Original Story © Richy-Sama**

* * *

**The Genderbending of Haruhi Suzumiya**

**TMoHS Fic**

**Chapter 9:**

The air stunk of alcohol and scented cigars. The windows, covered in filth and spots of furry mold, looked out to the dark, dingy alleyway between this shop and the black, spray-painted windows of the one beside it. There was a trash can, half closed, sitting beside the blackened window, and there were rats inside, gnawing on whatever they saw… old shoes, bread bags, apple cores, and… You know… Other things you would normally toss into that smelly, metal can. They were huddled against the garbage, looking my way with ruby red eyes.

My mind wavered to thoughts of Ryoko Asakura… Her menacing grin and shrunken pupils…

I almost panicked, but I took a deep breath to maintain my composure. I had to remind myself that Ryoko wasn't here. _She_ _couldn't get me now_. She said I had to go through some sort of _change_ first. And even then, Yuki stood right outside the shop door. I slowly pulled my head away from the rats and towards the clerk—as to not think of Ryoko anymore.

The man at the counter held a lighted cigar in his hand, puffing and biting idly on it as he played solitaire with a deck of mismatched cards. Did he really not notice the mixed deck? Maybe he didn't care… His head jerked towards us, Haruhi and I, and I could see his dirty face, scraggly beard, bloodshot eyes, and as he opened his mouth, I could see corroded, yellow teeth. Each little, stained tooth was separated with black. His tongue, a dark mass in his mouth, held chewing tobacco against his lower set of yellowed teeth. Chewing tobacco _and _cigars? I wouldn't be surprised if he had a bottle of sake, too.

Surely enough, the wrinkled man reached down for an empty sake bottle, spitting a slime ball of black into a building mass that was growing on the bottom. He wheezed and coughed, keeling over in his chair, before turning his attention back to us.

"What ch'you _damn kids w_ant? I ain't got any'fin for y'ouns, so y'ouns can jus' _git!_" the wrinkled clerk barked, nearly convincing me to grab hold of Haruhi's wrist and head for the door. However, Haruhi was known to raise the bet rather than fold, so she stood her ground and went all in… as usual.

"I believe you **_do _**have something for us," Haruhi explained, striding up to the counter and looking that man in the eye. "—And I believe you are going to be handing that something over." The man reacted defensively, hand wandering to his pocket. A gun? I readied myself to tackle Haruhi to dodge any bullets that may come our way, raising my hand ever so slightly.

"I'm not handin' any'fin over ta y'ouns, ch'you thievin' **_BRAT_**, so y'ouns can scurry 'long to your mommies and complain 'bout toys and can'y and whats'ever y'ouns want 'cause I ain't got what ch'youns want, ya hear? Now **_GIT!_**"

"Listen—" Haruhi started, but that man interrupted.

"Ya'll have a hearin' problem? I said **_GIT _**now **_GIT!_**"

This man… He was asking for the wrath of Haruhi Suzumiya, SOS Brigade leader and supposed "god" of aliens, espers, and time-travellers. Haruhi gritted her teeth, slamming her hands on the counter.

"Listen, you old **_FART! _**I came here for answers, and I **_WILL GET _**those answers, you hear me? Do **_YOU _**have a hearing problem?!" Haruhi bent over and glared at the man straight in the eyes. "Now, will you please shut your trap and hear what I have to say, or will I have to get rough with you?"

Needless to say, the old store clerk cooperated after Haruhi blew off the handle and listed all the ways she could get him to meet her demands… The rumors were false which lead Haruhi to take us on another investigation… When we got to the locale, however, the sky was dark. Everyone was exhausted, especially me, but Haruhi insisted that we explore.

"We can't back down now! We've already come all this way!" Haruhi demanded, stomping her foot on the old wooden planks of the fishing dock we had walked to. It was just a little ways from the dark side of town, but that didn't mean we could still explore it. There was no way any of us could get enough sleep for school tomorrow if we did, and I still had homework to do.

"Haruhi, it's late," I said, pulling the shivering Miss Asahina (it was cold outside) close, my jacket already over her shoulders, "and we're all tired… Why don't we call it a day and go home?"

"…Fine…"

Alright, that surprised me. Since when did Haruhi ever agree with me?

"Fine! Fine! FINE! Let's just go already," she told me, shoving past Miss Asahina, nearly knocking her over, and heading back the way we had come. "Everyone better show up at the clubroom tomorrow! If you don't, then we can't do this investigation, and I will be **VERY UNHAPPY**!"

Haruhi… What aren't you unhappy about anymore…?

Miss Asahina, Koizumi, Nagato, and I walked the long way to town… Other than Miss Asahina's quiet shivering, it was completely silent. That is… Until we reached the park and sat down, all but Nagato, who remained standing.

"Kyon," she started, walking towards the soda machine and inserting a few coins. "Why did you come to school today…?"

So she was angry with me…

"Yuki," Itsuki started softly, looking at her with those sly eyes of his, "I'm sure there's a reason-"

Yuki interrupted him.

"I told him to remain at home…!" she snapped, pressing a button—more like **_smashing _**the button—to make a can of soda come from the machine. "He was supposed to remain at home… And… Remain at home… Get well… Stay safe…"

"NAGATO!" I shouted as she collapsed to the ground, clutching her head with shaking fingers. Her face was pale… paler than normal. "Nagato! Are you—?"

"I-I'm fine," she stuttered softly, her whole frame shaking as she leaned against the machine. I went to her side, but she pushed me away the moment I tried to help her. "L-Leave… I don't want you to see me when… When I…" Her speech was cut off with a blood-curdling scream.

Nagato...

She was…

**She was in pain…**

"Naga—"

"**Leave me!**" she shouted, pushing me away once again and slipping into the nearby girl's restroom. She lingered at the door, sweat pouring from her face. She was barely standing… Her legs shook as she stood. Her topaz eyes were only slightly open. "Get home, Kyon… B-Before… It… It happens… T-To you…"

"Yuki—"

"P-Please, Kyon," was all she said before she slipped behind the restroom doors, letting out screams and yelps even before the door had shut.

Nagato…

I had to leave. Her eyes had told me... No… **_Demanded _**I leave. Itsuki gave me a reassuring pat on the back, and the three of us—Miss Asahina, Koizumi, and I—made the long treks to our homes, going our separate ways once we passed the train tracks…

* * *

**Author's Note:**

Oh my! The suspense!

Who can guess what's happening soon?

I'll give a cookie to whoever gets it right. xD

Not really... But it's the thought that counts, no? :)

**_~Richy_**


	13. Chapter 10: In Need of Answers

******The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya Series © Nagaru Tanigawa & Noizi Ito  
Original Story © Richy-Sama**

* * *

**The Genderbending of Haruhi Suzumiya**

**TMoHS Fic**

**Chapter 10:**

_Yuki Nagato…_

I couldn't get her off my mind…

Even as I felt the sandman begin pouring his sand, I thought of Yuki. Yuki had been in so much pain… and all I could do was appease her and walk off. I felt guilty for leaving the way I did, but how could I have possibly stayed? She had instructed me to leave. Neither Koizumi nor Miss Asahina disobeyed her, so what kind of friend would I be to challenge her demand?

No… Not her demand…

Her _plea…_

I heaved a heavy sigh and turned over in my bed, a headache beginning to boil in my head. I suppose all I could do now was try to get to sleep. There was no point in giving myself a migraine from thinking too hard about Yuki. It was hard… But I managed to grow drowsy. I let the sandman take me, and darkness ruled my mind…

My thoughts…

My _dreams…_

Everything was suddenly black, the air was cold, and I could see the eerie, glowing eyes. Those heartless, creepy, bright, _blood-red _eyes were all around me, just as they were before. I immediately knew where I was.

"Ah, Kyon… I was wondering when you would _dream of me_ again."

Ryoko Asakura. She was here as she had been the two dreams before this one.

"I wished I hadn't," I admitted honestly, bitterness wrapped tight around my words. I felt my heart begin to race as Ryoko took a few steps toward me, grabbed my tie, and threw me to the ground.

"You would be best to hold your tongue, Kyon-kun," she warned viperously as she pressed me against the ground with a single hand. I felt suffocated—I couldn't breathe! "I need you to give me answers, and I need you to give me them now! I can't afford failure, Kyon-kun, so tell me or die!"

I coughed in reply, and she began smiling.

"I'll take that as agreement." Her eyes were a dark red now, changing from red to black it seemed. "I need to know more about Haruhi Suzumiya, and I need you to tell me everything." And so Ryoko began asking all the questions she needed answers to, continuing to asphyxiate me as she interrogated.

That was… Until her eyes went from dark red to black. Then, she brought her hand from my throat, and I was rewarded with air for biting the bullet. She rose from my weak frame, coughing and gasping for air, and stumbled backwards. Her hands went to her eyes, rubbing and cringing.

"M-My eyes!" she screamed out in pain, raking her face with trembling fingers. I finally caught my breath and scrambled to my feet. My eyes were solely on Ryoko again, watching as she thrashed about. Her eyes were dark, like someone had painted them, and tears were running down her face. Those tears turned to blood as her screams got louder.

"Kyon…!" I heard someone say… _somewhere… _I looked around, but all I saw was blackness… Everywhere! Those red eyes were gone. Even Ryoko was beginning to disappear into the dark.

"Kyon…!" I heard the voice say again. It was familiar, yet unfamiliar. I couldn't place a name. "Kyon… Wake up!" I looked back to Ryoko and saw that she was trying to struggle and shout, but there were these immense hands holding her back—holding her against the ground. Then, the darkness below began to engulf her, swallowing her whole. She was gone, and now I was left all alone. I looked cautiously down at the floor.

_Was I going to get eaten, too?!_

"Kyon! WAKE UP!" I heard someone yell just as my eyes flew open, and I was sent back to reality.

I was sweating, shaking, and I could feel my hair flattened by sweat against my forehead. My chest rose and fell slowly, heavy from shock and a lack of air. Wait… What just happened?! I was about to suffocate from Ryoko, and she wanted answers… But I didn't get the chance to reply. Where did that voice come from? Wait… Why can't I see? I tried to focus my vision and wiped my eyes. They were filled with tears and blurry. How annoying…

Once I was finally able to see again, the sight of a ginger-haired boy with honey-colored eyes came to me. Beside him was Itsuki, but why was Itsuki in my room? …Not to mention the boy.

And beside Itsuki was yet another boy. He looked like Yuki Nagato, only… Male.

What was Itsuki doing here, and why did he bring these two boys?

I sat up, looking at the ginger. He was staring back at me, tears in his eyes. I then glanced at the silver-haired boy, watching as he stared back at me. His face lacked all emotion, but his eyes seemed to flare with rage… But then I saw them soften with concern.

"Koizumi," I started with urgency in my voice, looking towards the esper. Why… Why did my voice sound different? "W-Why are you here…? And who is—?"

"Hey, calm down, Kyon," Itsuki told me, smiling only slightly and placing a gentle hand on my shoulder. "Or… Should I say Kyon-chan?" He stifled a chuckle.

Kyon-chan? _…What?!_

I glared at him, but his grin only got wider.

"Well, Kyon-chan **_would_** be fitting," he commented, but then he seemed to realize something. He smacked his palm against his forehead and hurriedly began shifting through a few items on my desk. Since when was he allowed to look through my things? After not finding whatever it was he was looking for, he jerked his chin towards the ginger. "Do you have a mirror, Miss Asahina?"

Wait…

Miss Asahina…?

The shorter boy did have many similarities with Miss Asahina. He even had a similar hairstyle and the same colored eyes. He even held his hands in front of him like she did. When Itsuki asked for a mirror, he grew startled just like Mikuru.

Maybe he…?

"O-Oh, yes, I do!" the boy stuttered in reply, fumbling around in his deep pockets. Those pants he was wearing had to be at least three times bigger than his actual size… Wait… Those were Itsuki's? "H-Here!" He shakily handed the mirror to Itsuki, nearly dropping it in the process.

"Here, Kyon… Take a look," Itsuki told me softly, placing the pocket mirror in my hands. I gave him a half-hearted smile. When I looked at the mirror, I found a girl looking back at me.

I blinked.

She blinked.

I tilted my head.

She tilted her head.

What is this…?

What the hell was going on here?!

* * *

**Author's Note:**

Sorry about the lack of chapters. I've been rather busy with schoolwork lately...

Within the next month, I will have schoolwork completed and turned in and chapters **SHOULD **start coming more frequently.

Until then, please bear with me!

~ Richy


	14. Chapter 11: Kyon is a girl!

**The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya Series © Nagaru Tanigawa & Noizi Ito  
Original Story © Richy-Sama**

* * *

**The Genderbending of Haruhi Suzumiya**

**TMoHS Fic**

**Chapter 11:**

**(Side Note:** I will use the pronouns "he" and "she" according to which gender the character is in the story rather than continuing to use the pronoun for which gender they were originally. For example, Yuki Nagato will now be referred to as a "he" rather than a "she". This applies to all other genderbent characters.**)**

I looked at the mirror before beginning to laugh, "Real funny, Koizumi." I shoved the mirror back into his hands. "There's something wrong with this mirror." Itsuki looked disappointed, if not a little hurt, and turned the mirror over in his hand.

"No, Kyon, there's _nothing _wrong with the mirror." Itsuki leaned closer to me and put the mirror in front of our faces, letting me see both his and my faces at once. What I expected to see were two girls, one with an unenthused expression and the other with a smug, little grin. Itsuki was just pulling my leg… trying to get me mad for some reason. The mirror must be some sort of weird "genderbend illusion device", right?

Wrong.

Instead of what I had anticipated, I saw_ Itsuki_ and that girl from before… It had been implied that the girl was me_. _

"This mirror is reflecting the current reality of our world, and, Kyon, that means you're a girl."

"You're kidding."

"I'm not." I stared at Itsuki for a while, but then I looked down.

I was…

A **_girl_**_…_

When I looked back at Itsuki, I found him making a move to sit next to me on the bed. I scooted towards the wall since we were kind of close, but he only moved closer. "But I must say…" Itsuki spoke coolly, that light grin on his face, "you make a rather cute girl." Okay, now **_this _**was ridiculous! I pushed him off the bed with an irritated shove, and he fell to the floor with widened eyes.

"What are you… some kind of pervert?!" He picked himself off the floor and patted his uniform, chuckling softly.

"I was kidding that time, Kyon-chan."

"Stop calling me that," I grumbled. He threw his hands into a shrug.

"If you insist." I glared at him a moment before throwing my bed sheets over my face.

"Wake me up when this dream is over." There was silence, and I almost felt myself drift off to sleep. However, that silence was done away with shortly. Someone sighed before the blankets were ripped away. I assumed automatically that it was Itsuki, but it was actually the silver-haired, Yuki Nagato look-alike.

"This is no time for sleep," he spoke unemotionally, tossing the blankets to the floor. I felt chills run up my legs from the lack of bed sheets before he grabbed my wrist, tight, and attempted to pull me from the bed. "Ryoko is moving fast. We must move."

"Okay, I got… it…" My mind wandered when he spoke that name…

Ryoko…

How did this boy know about her…?

"Yuki?" I guessed bravely as I stood. The boy let go.

"Yes, Kyon?"

"You're Yuki?"

"Affirmative." He blinked at me blankly. It was as if this had already been established. I smiled a little.

There was my answer.

After a brief voting of where we should stay until the situation with Ryoko was neutralized, we decided to head to Yuki's apartment. The apartment was not how I remembered it. It had been clean and tidy before with absolutely nothing on the floor, not a single mark on the windows, and even the table had looked like it had never before seen dust.

But now…

I found my eyes running over all the things on the floor… There were books, magazines, a pair of bunny-eared headphones (Why were those there anyway?), and so many other things that looked like they belonged in the clubroom! What happened to that neat apartment I had visited before? You know… the one where I got told that Yuki was an _alien_, Haruhi was the _starting point _of some sort of data uprising three years ago, and that I was the _key_ to unlocking the secret that was Haruhi Suzumiya!

"Please excuse the condition of my home," Yuki told us in that familiar—yet unfamiliar—deep, monotone voice.

Excuse the condition of Yuki's home?

I'd say!

"Nagato," I started, not daring to take a step into the room until after Yuki had cleared the table and everything around it, "what happened…?" Yuki paused, sitting down at the table that was now free from _things_, and looked towards the three of us.

"Come. Sit," she—Well, it would be "he" now, wouldn't it?—told us simply, and we complied. There was a newfound creepiness to Yuki's voice. I wasn't sure if it was because Yuki was no longer a "she" but a "he", or if it was because Yuki sounded less robotic and more human.

"Nagato, what happened to—?" I tried again, but Yuki cut me off.

"That is not important," Yuki stated simply. His eyes moved away from my face, which he had been focused on, and looked towards his hands that sat folded on his lap.

Yuki… What was on your mind?

"Alright," I replied coolly, "then what **_is_** important?" I felt the shaking hands of the ginger—which I had already assumed was Miss Asahina—wrap tightly around my arm. My eyes moved to where he was, gripping my jacket with those crocodile tears in his eyes. Mikuru was really shaken from all this… I mean… Who wouldn't be? One moment, you are a beautiful high school girl, and, the next, you are a flat-chested boy… As I said before, who wouldn't be at least a surprised?

Not only that, but also knowing Haruhi Suzumiya and what she could do by just _wanting _something… wouldn't you be scared of what else could possibly happen to you?

"Important…" Yuki repeated to himself, interrupting my thoughts of the wrath of Haruhi Suzumiya and redirecting my attention back to him. "What is important… an explanation… An explanation is important at this time…" Yuki looked to me with those not-so-emotionless eyes that spoke the words "Please, don't make me do this" or "Can't we just do something else?" After a moment of silence, Yuki let out a sigh… Yes, a sigh… and said, "Allow me to explain."

I shifted nervously. Whatever Yuki was about to say could be disturbing, interesting, or off-the-walls insane. What I already knew was that Ryoko Asakura was back, and, this time, she was with a new agency that wasn't afraid to take a life or two to get information about Haruhi. I also knew that Ryoko hadn't shown up the day I was supposed to miss, although Yuki had predicted she would, and that Yuki was experiencing emotions because of—or at least it was the only reason given—Haruhi. What I didn't know, however, was why I was a girl, Yuki and Mikuru were now boys, and why Itsuki had remained the same… and if Haruhi had been genderbent, too.

"I shall reveal all the data I have collected up to this point, including explanations for events that have taken place starting approximately four days earlier than the current day and explanations for your nightmares, Kyon, with Ryoko Asakura…"

Stalling…

You're stalling.

Come on, Nagato.

"And… How Miss Suzumiya is involved, if I'm assuming accurately?" Koizumi asked, flashing one of those dumbass grins of his in Yuki's direction.

All Yuki did was nod his head and mumble a, "That is correct."

Yeah… And…?

The suspense is killing me.

"Explain then," I insisted with irritation in my voice. Yuki looked towards me with cold eyes.

"Fine," was what he said, eyebrows furrowing slightly. He closed his eyes in what I thought was an attempt to calm down. "Fine," he repeated in a soft and relaxed voice. "I'll explain now."

We all looked at Yuki with serious expressions, with the exclusion of Mikuru of course, as he took a deep breath. It was amazing how _human _Yuki was acting. I felt myself smile at that. It's something Yuki had always wanted… right…? After getting so tired of Haruhi doing all her ridiculous little schemes and not being able to just yell "Stop it, I've had enough!", but was it really right for Haruhi to butt in and wish for Yuki to have emotions right out of the blue? I didn't know the whole story, so I only shook my head. Maybe Yuki had asked? Maybe Haruhi had suggested? Who the hell knows…?

Yuki cleared his throat and explained…

* * *

**Author's Note:**

I'm so sorry for not being able to update regularly, but here is a chapter for your long wait!

The next time I post a chapter, it should be longer... Expect another 2-4 week gap between this and the next chapter though.

Sorry. o_o''

I want to give a special thanks to Jch15Jch15 for all the ideas in this story. He's been a real pal. :)

Well... I hope you guys don't mind another little cliff-hanger. I needed to end it there, or you might be waiting another month or so. Hah...

Um... Well... The chapters will be longer next time, and there will be less cliffhangers...

There's not much else to say other than keep suggesting events if you think them up in the reviews and to stay tuned!

Now I sound like a cheesy commercial. XD

_~Richy_


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